Thursday- Rounds Day
June 24, 2017
AM
Beautiful sunshine
What a wonderful Thursday
Celebrate living
Bask in the warm rays
Be hopeful about what's next
Ahead is promise
Try not to worry
About what comes next today
Time will only tell
Yet my mind drifts there
Fear, optimism compete
Don't know the outcome
Frenzied energy
Permeates the air right now
Must wait to find out
What will my team say
Doc Brown's ego and power
Will guide my future
I wish it weren't so
Why does he control my life?
I can do nothing
Attempts to sign out
Will only bring me trouble
I might be held in
Committed; locked up
Involuntarily kept
Between the walls here
Do I want that fate?
Is it not better to choose
Be here on my own terms?
It's so black and white
No room for compromises
His way or highway
Take it or leave it
Must make the most of my time
Why fight the system?
Afternoon
Walked into team rounds
Prepared to hear the worst news
No chance to comment
Assaulted as I
Slowly entered the office
I was caught off guard
They made assumptions
About what I was thinking
Can't speak for myself
"We're feeling this; we're that"
There is no "we" in this case
Why can't he shut up
"You're so very sick"
And should be at ACUTE now
Lucky to be here
Should be stuck in bed
Not walking on the unit
I expect too much
I must be dreaming
To hope to go on outings
Be grateful; thankful
Who cares what it means
To be with the group painting
Could be on five-west
Forced to wear long pants
So what if I feel like shit
Uncomfortable
I always wear shorts
But that's not the point, is it?
He doesn't listen
No time frame given
"We'll let you know when you can"
Why should I believe
Vague deadlines scare me
Assume things will never change
It's always the same
His attitude sucks
How dare he presume to know
What I am thinking
Evening
Perhaps I'm too harsh
In my perception of him
Let go of judgment
I'm not being fair
Too harsh; what a hypocrite
Something I despise
Don't know him that well
Preconceived notions aside
Can I respect him?
I'm stuck with him now
Request to change teams denied
Must accept the fact
He is my doctor
Even if I don't like him
I am in his care
Reality bites
Arrogant or not, that's him
In charge of my life