Friday- Thoughts of the Weekend
June 23, 2017
AM
Almost the weekend
Too much down time like before
Last one was so long
Boredom, frustrationI can't go to Ceramics
Bummed, disappointed
I don't understand
But it's a moot point for now
Can't change the team's minds
AM- later
I'm an outsider
Lots older than most people
I feel out of place
Gossipy, clique-ish
Little in common with them
Shut out from the group
Why does it matter
If I don't fit in with them
I'm my own person
But it does feel bad
Why deny the truth? It sucks
To be excluded
If there were others
Closer to my age, would I
Feel less different?
Yet I am not here
To be popular, well-liked
That's not my purpose
It's human nature
Part of the group, included
These are social norms
Introvert I am
Step out of my comfort zone
Talk more, be friendly
Afternoon
Cloudy, somber day
Mood on the unit seems down
Quiet, lethargic
Apprehensiveness
As the weekend approaches
Slow down in the pace
The busy chaos
Will soon become a dead zone
Team members away
Rise in the drama
As activity declines
Tempers flare, erupt
I dread weekends here
Watching others go out on pass
Missing the outing
Hours and hours to mull
Feelings, thoughts, fears, and worries
Dwelling in my head
Can I fast forward
Jump right into the next week
Escape the slowness
But each minute counts
Given last summer's events
Need to be grateful
Moment by moment
Each breath reminds me I live
Blood flows throughout me
Whether fate or luck
Or the countless prayers to God
That kept me alive
Thought death was better
Than incessant suffering
Pain that would not end
Almost the weekend
Too much down time like before
Last one was so long
Boredom, frustrationI can't go to Ceramics
Bummed, disappointed
I don't understand
But it's a moot point for now
Can't change the team's minds
AM- later
I'm an outsider
Lots older than most people
I feel out of place
Gossipy, clique-ish
Little in common with them
Shut out from the group
Why does it matter
If I don't fit in with them
I'm my own person
But it does feel bad
Why deny the truth? It sucks
To be excluded
If there were others
Closer to my age, would I
Feel less different?
Yet I am not here
To be popular, well-liked
That's not my purpose
It's human nature
Part of the group, included
These are social norms
Introvert I am
Step out of my comfort zone
Talk more, be friendly
Afternoon
Cloudy, somber day
Mood on the unit seems down
Quiet, lethargic
Apprehensiveness
As the weekend approaches
Slow down in the pace
The busy chaos
Will soon become a dead zone
Team members away
Rise in the drama
As activity declines
Tempers flare, erupt
I dread weekends here
Watching others go out on pass
Missing the outing
Hours and hours to mull
Feelings, thoughts, fears, and worries
Dwelling in my head
Can I fast forward
Jump right into the next week
Escape the slowness
But each minute counts
Given last summer's events
Need to be grateful
Moment by moment
Each breath reminds me I live
Blood flows throughout me
Whether fate or luck
Or the countless prayers to God
That kept me alive
Thought death was better
Than incessant suffering
Pain that would not end